Proper Sized Is Best
Remember proper-sized keyboards? Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. I mean those keyboards that weighed a ton and only a minor-earthquake could move. They were good things them. They had presence, a certain toughness to them, and they felt industrial, as if they were as good a weapon as a computer accessory.
I am certainly in to computer accessories that double-up as weapons. There was a story in the paper last month of a man who was broken in to, and guess what? He only had one of these daft new-school super light-weight keyboards to defend himself.
It went like this, apparently: the thief broke in and, with the sound and all, the resident awoke (he was vain and had just had painful neck lift surgery, so even though the thief was quiet it didn’t take much). He told his wife he loved her and then he went downstairs. His instinct (he was in the living room and the thief was yet to get there) was to grab something heavy. He remembered his keyboard–he would use that. Bash the swine over the head! Only he suddenly realized the horror. Only the day before he had chucked his trusty old keyboard out and had replaced it with a daft lightweight one. Suffice to say that when the thief came in and saw him holding that, purporting it to be a deadly weapon, he laughed. And wouldn’t you?
That’s why we need proper keyboards back. The thieves wouldn’t stand a chance!
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